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...shut up and eat.
I am a hermit. A hermit that is not allowed to embrace her true nature. I was invited to a get-together with some old co-workers who I do truly like/miss. I said at first I would go- but as the week wore on, I just didn't want to go. It's Saturday night. I was going over flaking options in my head. Finally I called to say my family was throwing me a b-day dinner at my grandparent's house that was kind of last minute. I figure I'm really doing them a favor. My mood is a big black dark cloud. I don't feel like being social- and this is a party to see off one of my co-worker's husband- who is going back to Iraq. I'm not going to bring my petty, stupid issues (in comparison) to something like that. My b-day is next week. As usual I could give a shit about my b-day. I don't celebrate it. Sometimes I buy myself a "milestone" gift. On my 25th b-day I bought myself a sapphire ring. For my 30th I started my one and only tattoo. On my 40th, since nobody else is going to do it it seems, I will buy myself a nice diamond ring. But I don't care about my birthday. Just seems to be a good time of year to indulge myself, since I loathe christmas and pretty much all the other holidays. I usually don't answer my phone on that day. I just do whatever I feel like doing. This year, I will be working. The day does not matter. I've been in a pretty crappy mood this week. (duh. seems to be a recurring theme for me eh?) One particular day I was driving home from the gym, particularly sad. I replied to AZ's text of hugs with a half-hearted tnx. He already knew I've been pretty depressed. He texts back, of all things, bad mood?. So many nasty replies went through my head. I was pissed, with what little energy I had to be such. What made me most upset that if the situations were reversed- and by god they have been- I would have texted, are you ok? not, bad mood? for crepes sake. I didn't bother to reply, and he didn't text again that night. Stupid men and their damn hard heads. We've texted since. But I've not felt like talking to him. Or anyone for that matter. I went to the gym today. Today was day four this week. Last week I went four days and the week before 5 days. I'm hoping this week I'll have the motivation to go tomorrow after work. Upping my vitamin intake of C and D seems to have really helped. The energy shots still don't seem to be working. My foster rattie is doing very well. Unfortunately the introduction to my rats didn't go well at all. So she'll have to remain alone until I get her sutures removed next week and return her to her sister. We have someone who is interested in adopting 2 female ratties- so next week will be their first opportunity to get adopted. I told the potential adopter about this rattie's issues- and she didn't flinch- so hopefully she's open to adopting them over the other pair we have that will be much easier to adopt out. I'll just be happy to get some ratties out of the shelter system and hopefully into a good home. I'm supposed to go to lunch with an ex-colleague of mine on Monday from the motel chain. I haven't seen him in probably over a year so, I will have to leave my hermit-like abode and brave the world. I owe him that. He was nothing but supportive and kind when I worked for the company (he was also my trainer). I do kinda look forward to seeing him. Almost done with this week. Two blessed days off. All too short if you ask me.
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