...shut up and eat.
Menu du jour:
Slink Would Be An Angel
We're on borrowed time. I'm making as much of it as I can.
Slink got progressively worse from the last entry. Saturday night she was bouncing around the cage listlessly- not at all normal. Then I noticed her mouth- something very strange. This whole time her teeth were overgrown!!!! That's part of her issue with not eating solid food. Oh my god I thought! I am the most neglectful mom to not have noticed this. I'm beating myself even now over this. Granted the vet didn't think to look either- but me of all people should have noticed. Just in case you don't know, rats teeth, along with most other rodents, grow their entire lives. If they don't eat solid food or chew on things their teeth don't naturally file down, eventually growing to the point of starvation- or death from them growing into vital parts.
So I grabbed my sister and had her hold Slink while I used toenail clippers to cut her teeth down. What seemed like a million minutes later we got them trimmed. I put her in my pet carrier for the night with some baby food to monitor her food intake. As far as I could tell, she was still not eating. When I woke in the morning on Sunday (my saturday), there was blood coming from her mouth and it was all over the carrier. That prompted panic. I called one of our volunteers that worked with a rat rescue- of her countless rats- I figured she might know something. She didn't have anything that was similar to my experience and suggested I call a specific emergency vet.
I called them, their "exotic" vet wasn't going to be in until 11am. It was 8am. I was there 10 minutes before the vet was to be on. They took Slink back right away. The vet saw her first thing through the door. I got put into a room. The vet eventually came in, and she discussed what she thought might be our next step. Slink hadn't bled since the morning- but she said she thought she saw a growth on her tongue. She thought we could explain her heavy breathing with an xray of the chest to check for bronchial blockage or possible signs of cancer. She also wanted to do a red blood cell count to see if she was anemic. I deduced what might be the most helpful and agreed to the xray. She stated she might have to briefly put her out to get a clear xray. She left the room.
Agonizing minutes later, she came back. She did have to put her out for a minute for the xray, so she said she also looked in her mouth and the growth she thought she saw was just a loose piece of flesh- that she easily took out of her mouth. She inspected her teeth and mouth and said it all looked normal. She even went ahead with the blood count and determined she wasn't anemic. The xray also didn't appear abnormal or show anything that we could go on. The vet said she wasn't comfortable with putting Slink down (that made two of us only just having discovered her teeth). I wanted to give her the best chance possible. So the vet took a guess and sent me home with antibiotics and pain killers at my request. Before we left she also got sub-q fluids. I left $315 poorer, but as I've said, cost is no issue when it comes to the responsibility to my animals.
I went to a summer party I was supposed to go to. I thought it wasn't going to do me a lot of good to sit around like I was all morning, stressed and vigilant. I needed a break. I was 3 hours late to the party. So by the time I got there, the people I knew were on the verge of leaving. It was an hour drive to get there. My mood wasn't exactly cheerful. I should have just stayed home.
I drove back and stopped by the drugstore to get Slink some Ensure Plus. I was feeding her baby food by syringe- but that wasn't going to be enough calories. I got home, administered her antibiotic and got a little liquid down her. (I'd given her the pain killers when we got home from the emergency vet).
Sunday night the vet called me to let me know the radiologist looked at the xray for a second pair of eyes. He saw a little bit of bronchial blockage. The vet said I could bring her back the next day and do some oxygen therapy (at the tune of $200 a day) to see if that might help and if it did that'd be an indication we could put her on another antibiotic to double up the defense. When I got off the phone with her- that didn't make a lot of sense to me. Let alone the fact that if she took a turn for the worse I didn't want her to die alone in an oxygen tank at a vet. That's not going to happen. What made more sense is just to put her on the antibiotic. If there is no change- that might be an indication more drastic measures might be warranted.
I called the emergency vet Monday morning with my final decision. Rats show signs of a turn around with antibiotics within 2-3 days if they're going to recover on them at all. I called to make an appointment for Wednesday- which wasn't doable- but Thursday was open and I thought afterwards that made more sense. It's with a different doctor than the one we saw, but it was one recommended by the volunteer I talked to- so I'm comfortable enough with that.
I also left a message for the vet I did see for her to call at her earliest convenience. When she did call back I restated the things she said the night before and asked her if it were possible to just prescribe the antibiotics, I'd come in again for them to administer more sub-q fluids, and to pick up the medication. I told her I made an appointment for Thursday morning, so that if there were no changes (or, small hope, if there is) the vet and I could determine what we should ultimately do. It would give ample time for the antibiotics to work. She agreed that made sense.
I went to the emergency vet. Got the antibiotics. They took Slink back for sub-q fluids. The vet eventually came out to tell me that one of Slink's eyes was also developing issues (which I had noticed that it was fogging up and a bit dysfunctional) so she also wanted to send me home with antibiotic eye drops. Sheesh. I was there for 2 hours and $51. No big.
So here we are. Tuesday night. I had a break down last night, she's not doing well and I was questioning my hesitation to put her down as a very selfish thing for me to have done. She's not herself. She barely moves around. She breathes heavy. Her movements are choppy, and unbalanced. One eye doesn't seem to be functioning. Up until today she barely seemed to be swallowing her medication or her Ensure. The only thing that has changed is that she has taken her liquids better. Other than that, she doesn't have much quality of life. We're getting down to one more day left to show some sort of change. I want so desperately for her to turn around- but my logical side says at this point, it's not very likely. I don't want her to suffer, and it seems like she is.
I don't want her to go. I love my little rattie so much. She's done so much for me. Especially when we travelled with the motel chain. Slink and Sway were something to look forward to when I got to my lonely room. They filled my life with something brighter. She's made me smile, laugh, love and let go of stress and anger. She's been one of my very best friends...and it kills me that I can't help her.
My appointment is for 8am Thursday. I got the day off so I can handle it. If I have to let her go- I won't be very functional. But you can bet your ass I will be the one holding her when she goes. I will be crying my eyes out- but she'll go in my own hands. She will come home with me to my 'rents house, and she will be buried with my other very beloved animals that have gone before her. She will never be alone.
....we're all on borrowed time. I just wish it didn't have to be so short.
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