...shut up and eat.
My exhaustion level has not changed.
I did manage to have some activity during 2 of my days off. Went to a car show sans vehicle and hung out with my car friends one day. Went to a fair with my Mum and Nephew another day. Both I'm glad I did.
It was nice to see friends and hang out, the weather wasn't overbearingly hot and I was in a decent mood. One of my friends brought me a small decorative bowl they had in their collection of housewares they thought I might like, which I do. Another friend sent me home with homegrown cherry tomatoes. Was a last minute decision I made to even go. I had done my grocery and sundries run and had mostly planned to stay home after that. I knew it was probably a good idea to go out- needed a distraction.
The fair with my mum and nephew was good too. My aunt and her kids show animals at the fairs so she got us some passes and a parking ticket to get in. That saved us $50, which was super nice. I brought a decent stack of cash in anticipation for expensive foods and possibly a hoarde of neat new products, but I only ended up spending about $90 on food and a very nice pair of slippers (ok and someone roped me in to a $5 fidget spinner, my cats like it so not a total loss). Hope not to have to buy another pair of slippers for many years to come. It was a hot day, but we managed to not get overheated. Weird too, that there were not that many people there as I am accustomed to even on the weekdays that I go. Plus it seemed the vendors were cut down by half and boy were they aggressive since there weren't many people out. I had a good time but for reasons I can't quite put a finger on we've had better times.
I was signed off of fire radio on my Friday last week. Ready or NOT. As I sit here I wonder if I made the right decision coming to this agency. Two of my new coworkers (who also happen to be part of the union) are complaining about our main supervisor and the time off issues they are experiencing, among a few other complaints. I get why they're upset. Not so sure how they're complaining is exactly professional and it certainly doesn't help raise the mood on the workfloor. It makes me upset too that I will be facing an inability to get time off yet again. One of the reasons I came here is because I was told it's not a problem to get time off. It's not like I ask for much off other than my vacations that are prescheduled. At my old agency though, we got a holiday time bank because as you know, PD/FD never has those days off. Well there I could just let the bank grow, once it got past a certain amount of hours they would just pay us out a few hours a paycheck. We never lost it. But here, if you don't use it you lose it. I'm getting the impression now we may never get a chance to use it. I either lose it or I have to initiate a payout of the whole shabang. Which should be ok tho it may throw me into another tax bracket. What they're complaining about (rightly so but again, not sure the conversation is appropriate for the workfloor) is their comp time off. Which is essentially when you work overtime, instead of taking money you take it in future time off. They want to start denying that as well as all the other banks of time one can have. This will be an issue. But at least it's not a lose it type of bank- they seem to be overlooking that kind of bank and to me, those are the things that concern me.
What also concerns me is all the "free time" the city is getting. I have to get here at least 15 minutes early in order to log on to all the slow ass systems here so that my coworkers get to leave "on time". This sometimes works out so people can go up to 15 mins early (some crazy people get here 30 mins early) all the way down to what usually happens to ME only a couple of mins early. Coworkers also do not take their breaks at all. They may fire back that it's slow enough at times they feel like they don't need to (there are other reasons I'm sure) but that's not good enough reason to NOT take entitled breaks. When you sit at your desk with all your systems on and your headset is on that doesn't give you an adequate break when the phone can ring any second. In this industry you NEED to take your breaks. Some don't take their meal breaks either. They eat at their desks. It's just unnatural and wrong.
...and now I learn how much holiday time they get to eat too....yeah not happy.
I do not want to work for a living.
So I switch to weekends off starting tomorrow for a short bit. Friday-Sunday to be exact. While most of you reading this would say "awesome", I say you're all nuts. No thank you. I am NOT looking forward to weekends AT ALL. I haven't had weekends off in years, and it's been great. No, or few lines, ability to make appointments, discounted days at restaurants and events. Go to the beach and not many people are there...sooo many benefits to it. It's also been a GREAT excuse not to go to any obligatory family functions. Oh sorry, I'm working. NOT now. My first freaking Saturday tomorrow and ALREADY they want me to go to a birthday gathering for my invalid uncle at his residential home. Oh. Boy. Contain my excitement.
I feel like I'm just complaining here a lot. But wait, there's more!
Lover was supposed to go out of town for one of his kid's sports tournaments. Apparently some sort of verbal row has occured at his house. It must have been going on since early this morning because they were supposed to leave super early and he didn't text me until after 10. He said he'd talk to me later when I'm on break. I hope it has nothing to do with me/us. They have issues, but I don't want to be one of them. I know that's weird to say but I know what I mean. If I am then it may be the end of us- I have to stay prepared for something like that to happen. The fact that he says he'll talk to me when I'm on break raises hairs. He doesn't talk to me about his home life. We recently had a discussion about that because he started a story he was telling me with "I know you don't want to hear about this". I had to remind him that he doesn't have to keep this stuff from me and that it's his choice to talk to me about it or not. I consider him a friend too, so he could if he wanted. I have never asked him not to. So I don't know if he's saying that now because of the conversation and he WANTS to talk about it, or if we have come up in the heated conversation.
Yesterday I spend the good majority of the day sleeping. I got up fairly early but took 2-3 good sized naps. I think the only really productive thing I did was laundry, water plants and clean up after the birds and squirrels. I did read quite a bit so that was nice. I finished the book I mentioned last entry so that's the last for that series for now. I am on to The Crimson Petal & the White a book I've read before but enjoyed. It's rather a lengthy one but I'm already 100 pages in.
The fabric for my pillow cases from last entry should be shipped shortly here as the fabric has been printed per their website. My quilter emailed me a pic of the finished top and upon my approval has started to put the whole quilt together. It looks amazing. I'm super excited about it.
I also got my tea this week that I ordered and I'm sipping on my Green Chai tea, it's not caffeine free but it's lower than most and it's so good I should be done with it way before caffeine may be a problem for my sleep pattern. I had no trouble sleeping yesterday, in fact I was annoyed by how tired I was and how much napping I did.
I want to say something that is not a complaint. Somehow I can't to come up with anything. Except for I love my friends, family and CATS. How's that?
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All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.